Fuck you for bringing so much drama in my life,
you're worse than a girl, just reading the things you say makes me miserable.
READING cause you have no clue how to talk in person, pathetic.
It's a god damn dread when I arrive and I see you, you're not the person I met so long ago.
You're a follower, you're a fake, and you have no people skills whatsoever.
What in the world happened to you? WHO ARE YOU?

my heavens low but the songs the same
seems I'm always looking when I hear your name
you've been away but don't leave this side
seen all of your faces you've tried to hide
so I'm sitting here in a train station
Lord knows I step with no hesitation
Oh I've seen through your lies
still I'm one still I'm one to testify and I say

I'll find a way to let you know
hold me close when tradewinds blow
chances are you're over me, I'll catch that train eventually

to the questions that you're asking
I've only expected everything
these arms of mine are burning
as I see, as I see the pages turning

my heavens low but the songs the same
seems I'm always looking when I hear your name
you've been away but don't leave this side
seen all of your faces you've tried to hide
so I'm sitting here in a train station
Lord knows I step with no hesitation
Oh I've seen through your lies
still I'm one still I'm one to testify and I say

Said I'm sorry
Said I'm sorry
I'm a lover
I'm a lover who says he's sorry
Said I'm sorry
Said I'm sorry
I'm a lover
I'm a lover who says he's sorry
Said I'm sorry
Said I'm sorry
I'm a lover
I'm a lover who says he's sorry

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I messed up, This won't happen, I promise, I love you.

I'm going to try really hard to think positively about all of this, becoming
sad, bothered, and uncomfortable never helps. Or simply move on in the blink of an eye,
that'd be nice I suppose. I just get so lonely sometimes :(

I hate how my eczema just likes to kick in when I'm upset or stressed.

So-god-damn-indecisive.
I can't decided if I really want school to come back around or if I would rather take advantage of summer, but either way school is school and it will always come back, this is just a temporary break. I don't really know if I'm excited for Europe...there ARE personal reasons as to why I want to stay, but 8 days isn't too bad. For some reason I find myself wanting to be in a relationship, then I remember the headache and limits that it comes with, then I realize isn't that the whole sha-bang? Besides knowing someone is always there for you and they are only a phone-call away..I don't know, I think the comfort and affection would be nice sometimes, it gets lonely around here. I really wish people were more up-front and honest, humans can be so secretive and insincere. I think problems would be possibly solved faster if everyone knew what the other party thought..or maybe it would just drag things on for a longer period of time. Today was probably one of the first days of summer that I stayed home all day..I don't like that at all. Dance wears me out a lot, maybe a bit too much. I wouldn't say this is a bad summer and I wouldn't say it's a great summer, It's just kind of...odd.

:)

I like listening to you play the piano.

I want to leave this stupid town already,
I want to get out of this boring state,
and finally leave this out of control country.
I don't want to have a cell phone while I'm gone.
I don't want to keep running into people I know everywhere I go.
I'm tired of eating, sitting, sleeping, the same exact thing all the time.
I'd rather sit in a complete foreign area with a language I don't know,
and watch what I don't know, what I've never heard, and what I won't see for a very long time.

I'm tired of trying, a person can only do and give so much to another.
I have put all the effort and heart I have to make something that barely exists...
EXIST! I set high hopes, high expectations, and in the end nothing actually reached.
I can now only sit back forget what has happened or continue staring at a phone
and drive by everyday in disappointment.

Pointless, unfortunate, waste of 3 months.